Colors in your Life

So, red has been hanging out in my life a lot lately. You may be asking yourself, how does one know when a color arrives? Well, let me share with you how the red is happening.

I was wandering one of the thrift stores I go to and came across a desk lamp. It had a very old fashioned light bulb in it. I wanted that light bulb so much, I bought the whole lamp. The base of that lamp is a shiny, sparkly red glitter.

I went to the laundry to wash clothes. Inside of a washer I was about to use was one lonely little face towel, in red.

At work, as I was cleaning up a room, there was a red ink pen on the table inside that room.

I got a new deck of cards that I know will be seriously important in my life. On one of the cards is a tiny red dragon.

These are the ways this color is presenting itself as a cheerleader in my life for something new and a shift of some kind.

What does this mean? It is reminding me of my passions, my convictions, things I believe in that are central to who I am. It pushes me to be braver in the things I want to achieve. It lends to a boldness I don’t necessarily have in general.

Essentially, the color is giving me a vibe raising helping hand. That’s the power of color! This is how it happens for any new color that comes into your life randomly. It may come for a short time or stick around for so long a time it becomes a new color integrated into your life.

On the other side of things, you may find there’s a color you’re no longer using. I encourage people to consider this with something like their wardrobe or wall paint color. These are colors you’ve seen around for a time and have them in your life as a habit or welcome comfort. However, now that I’ve brought it to your attention, maybe you have noticed you aren’t wearing that shirt anymore that was once a favorite? You’re itching to change that paint color in the room, even though you raved about it and loved it for years. These are the signs of colors no longer being useful for you in the present moments of your life. They are encouraging you to let them go and create something else with other colors that can help you better with whatever it is you’re wanting/needing to create/have in the days/weeks/months/etc. ahead.

Take stock of the colors in your life…from your wardrobe to your walls, for that odd decoration piece you had to have, to the new color you’re noticing every time you’re out and about. All of it matters.

Expectations of Others, of Self

I have lots of time to talk to myself at my current job. It gives me revelations and it also gives me a lot of “right”, “right”, “exactly” to myself. I have mixed feelings about my job. There isn’t much social interaction, but there’s also lots of quiet and “do my own job, not anyone else’s”. It’s repetitive, yet that’s part of the simpleness of it. On and on I think of these things.

So, on this particular night, I was thinking about the expectations of others and of oneself. Maybe part of the reason I haven’t necessarily gotten to where I want to be in life is because it’s very unconventional and how would others handle that?

Like, I believe in God for my path, that’s always been there, but I am also highly intuitive…getting insight from colors, tarot cards, conversations, etc. I love all of this about me, but wonder about how well that will go over with others.

One of the main questions people ask is, “What do you do?” For years I have said, “I work at the Waffle.” I’ve done it off and on for over 20 years that some folks are surprised I am not there any longer.

So, say I decide to really shine in my intuitive gifts and offer advice and perspectives to help people see a view of their life that isn’t “covered” in fear, expectations, bias, people wanting to limit you, etc. Just some advice from someone in neutral territory saying, “You can be this brave. You can take that leap. You can say no. You can decide this doesn’t fit your lifestyle anymore.” etc.

When someone asks me what I do for a living from that point of decision, I can then say, “I give intuitive advice.” That sounds good to me and general enough to not scare someone off of the conversation altogether.

So then, if someone were to ask a relative what I do and that relative knows what I do, but isn’t really into it, it is possible that person may change the subject, may say something encouraging, or may say I was going to hell.

I guess, looking at it like this, that’s a broad spectrum of answers and it really amounts to people’s comfort zones for what I do. Some are okay with it, some aren’t, and some just look at you oddly from that moment on.

However, God has put me directly in some people’s paths to help aid their journey with my intuitive insights. I have given encouragement via writing letters, reading cards, listening to colors, having random conversations, and maybe other ways I haven’t realized just yet.

This helps me see, in this moment, that people will feel how they choose to feel. I must be who I am and know that there are people out there needing my particular kind of helpfulness.

Yes, there are those that may say I am wrong or going to hell, but those people obviously aren’t ones I am to help. What matters most are the people out there that will come to me or cross my path in such a way that I know I am to give them some much needed words of comfort. Those are the ones I shine best for.

So, labels, they are what they are, but being okay with being me in a more open way is something to work on and be comfortable with. This is where I am at.

Maybe you want to move forward in some way in your own life, but expectations and pondering of just how brave you can be on your own stop you from being your best in a comfortable, flowing way?

Opinions of others or the blocks you place on your own thinking, shouldn’t stop your growth. For every person who thinks you’re “doing it wrong”, there is another person waiting to meet you in all of your shining uniqueness. How about that? Don’t you want to meet them too?

Just a Person

I had a thought recently that I’d like to share. I had something to work out with a friend and I wanted to figure out how best to handle it. I thought about finding excuses. I thought about lots of different kinds of those excuses. I thought of taking the blame personally. I created different scenarios, of what could be offered, what could not be offered and just how best to handle the situation.

So, I go ahead and choose this tactic I wanted to take. As I converse with this other person, the person says, “Did I do something wrong?” I could have said lots of different things with this opening too. The whole, “If you’d have done this, if you’d have considered that, what about what you saw going on?” I didn’t want to argue or fuss or be talked out of what I’d chosen.

I made my decision somewhat based on interactions with that person. I don’t want to point out what I think are flaws. I don’t want to say, “You did this wrong, but if you do it like this, we can work things out,” or, “You did this wrong and it’s too much.” The person is just the person and pointing out what I think may be flaws may not be flaws with another person. Also, the person in question may not even see one’s own actions as flaws of any sort. Lots of angles to look at this one.

No, I just said, “I’d like to have some space for now.” I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to have the person or myself feel bad. I just made a call and stuck by it.

We are all “just a person”. When we interact with another person, we are doing an ebb and flow unique to our individuality and connections to one another. The time period and/or depth of that interaction depends on a great many things.

Your Future Fantastic Self!

So, being a housekeeper is a very quiet job. I get a list of rooms to clean and restore them back to proper order. I found it doesn’t work for everyone, but it works well for me. It sometimes does get mindless after the 10th bed has been made and there’s still more to go. However, the mindlessness passes and it works itself out. I like seeing neat beds and providing a room that’s set right for the next person to use it.

So, this morning I remember hearing once upon a time about an exercise where one talks to their future self. To picture and envision your future self having been brave enough to have created that dream, stepped up to the plate, and would be essentially LIVING the kind of life you’d like to have today. To talk to that person, to feel that vibe of accomplishment, to know you’d broken down the barriers and are IN that groove!!

There I am, alone in a room. I talk to my future fantastic self. It feels odd. I am not sure what kind of response I anticipated getting, but I did…for a moment, treat myself as if I had accomplished great business success.

It felt good to experience the vibes of having made a life in a way I’d been after for so long. To have an assurance of a business/career that was solid, strong, and definitely diversified…like me. It was amazing!

I’d like to encourage you to try this for yourself. Look at where you are, where you’d like to be, and talk to that person in the days/weeks/months/years ahead. Find the connections, feel the vibes, trust that you really DO get it right and have awesomeness to show for it.

Prayer Partner, Uplifting Friends

A friend of mine has become my “prayer partner”. When I am feeling down, especially about my faith, I contact her to pray for me. She does. We met online in a text type chat room many years ago. We’ve actually never seen each other in person. However, she is one of my dearest friends. In turn, she will contact me from time to time needing some words of comfort herself.

If you are of the praying kind, consider finding a prayer partner in someone you know. Become pillars of strength for each other, knowing there will be times you’ll need it.

I’ve also got other friends I go to for other specific kinds of uplifting. From the friend who uplifts and jokes with me, to the friend who’s just nice to know. Each of us ask for uplifting, check in on each other, and are there to uplift when needed.

I don’t have lots of friends, but the friends I do have are rather awesome. It’s amazing just how much richer and better a life becomes by having a friend or two to be helpful for each other.

If you don’t have that kind of friend, consider seeking for one. Maybe put it out to God or the Universe that you’d like someone to share with on a level of real care and comfort. Someone you could speak freely with and be understood.

Some of these friends have been letter writing friends on those levels too. I’ve got one friend that expects a letter from me once in awhile to help me write out my stuff and try to sort it out on paper. Some letters that helps me, some letters that doesn’t. Either way, I’ve shared a bit of myself and she can write back how she feels about it…as well as what’s going on in her life.

Take care of yourself, if you don’t already, find a friend to invest in that will invest in you. 🙂

Soul sucking aspects of your life

I recently read a blog post stating how a woman had a great job, lots of money, was super in charge in the company in a major way. However, the job with lots of money was soul sucking. It didn’t really bring her the joy she thought she’d find. Somehow, she got from there to being very happy in something that rewards her and her clients. I love win-wins!

This notion has stuck with me for several days. I mean, some of us don’t go searching for something new unless we’re needing more of something…money, sex, friendships, faith, etc. The idea that we found something we thought we wanted…it paid well and/or satisfied some aspects of our lives…yet was lacking in good feelings within our soul…well, that just didn’t sit right, did it? Now what?

I think this is me at this moment too. I recently acquired a job, one that pays well, is close to home, and has me responsible for just me. I should be thrilled. In some ways I am, but does it satisfy my soul in any way? Definitely a no.

I come across all of these personality tests and questionnaires about finding your joy, your purpose, your right career. What I get out of that is to do what creates fun for you. Something that is easy for you to do and always lightens your mood. You should be working on an UP and go HIGHER from there. That’s how you know something or someone is right for you.

This can apply to any aspect of your life. Evaluate that job, that relationship, that thing you’re buying. Decide if it’s soul sucking or if it’s really a blessing in your life. You deserve blessings and goodness. It doesn’t matter your age or what you think you can work with…you can work with a great deal. l9

It’s okay to Cry

Some mornings, as I stir my coffee, I ask God what I should write about. It’s always interesting what he says to me.

This morning, I hadn’t asked, but was headed here. I get the notion of, “It’s okay to cry.” So, let us see where this thread goes.

It’s okay to cry. You may say to me, “April, what do I have to cry about?” What about the child you never had because your partner didn’t want children? What about the dream you didn’t pursue because it was different than expected? What about the business you are trying to get flourishing that isn’t doing that well? What about the fact that you left a domestic situation and are even more scared because you aren’t sure how to do things on your own? What about the fact that you lost your parents in some way…death, them shunning you, you joined the military, etc…. ((This is a huge one.))?

What about the fact that you feel you’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way and feel so lost…just…utterly and completely lost? There are lots and lots and LOTS of reasons to cry. I’ve cried over lots of reasons myself.

It’s perfectly okay to cry. We live in a world that tells us to follow the norm, fix what needs to be fixed, and carry on like a good soldier. Lots of people say, “You’ll get past this,” or “It’s better to do the safe thing,” or “There’s no use crying because that’s not going to fix the situation.” What if you just want one day, several hours, maybe even a week to cry and sulk and ponder the crazy of the moment? You can do that. You don’t have to get over it this moment or today or in a month. You can definitely say, “I am hurting because of ……. and I need time to process in m own sad way.”

You don’t even have to tell people about it. You can work through things on your own, make the space and time to be all about you and what you want to cry about or are tired of. You can do whatever it is to say, “I will take a cry day.”

We try. We’re ambitious. We’re smart. We are capable of great things. Yes, to all of this! We also need time to cry. It is okay to do that too.

Praying about a Situation

I had a situation that was troubling me. I felt confrontation of a sort was needed, but I really didn’t want to be in that spot. It involved a friend of some years. I wasn’t sure how to approach it. My usual tactic is to be a complete bitch and expect the ties to be severed.

I wasn’t really in the mood for doing that though. I talked to several people to get their take on it. I also know that the perspective can be skewed because we can present an argument that favors our side. Lots and lots of people do this for a multitude of reasons. Just the other day I said to someone, “Please give me a reason that favors the positive other side.” The person did.

Even so, I kept praying and asking God to tend to this situation. I wanted an answer God would give me and definitely in a way I could live with. Well, this last weekend, a better turn of events happened in this situation. None of it had to do with me being confrontational or even feeling the need to have a conversation either.

The other person did something different and it allowed an ease to come back into the situation. It didn’t resolve the situation to the way I wanted, but I knew that would be a little tricker as the situation really was based on a need…regardless of what ever else I thought about it.

For this moment, I felt God made it go back to some ease. The situation wasn’t resolved, no, but there was no longer a need for conflict just now and I am glad I let God handle it more so than what I had in mind. This gives me more peace about it at the moment.

In another thought, I have pondered many times how God has had us help others even when we don’t have much. Somehow, what we do have…in many different ways…was enough for each person needing it.

A friend stored some items here recently as he found himself quickly needing to move. When he came back to get those items, amid conversations my husband and the friend had, the friend was given some of the items we had stored that weren’t being of any use to us.

It was being helpful in an unexpected way, taking care of some of his needs we found out he had, and allowing for the flow of that instead of holding on to something we weren’t going to use anytime soon.

Also, if we released it, whatever IT is, because it wasn’t being useful to us, we must trust that we will gain back something of equal or better value in that space should we find ourselves in that kind of need in the future. This is a very important part of the trust of the flow of the Divine.

What if things went smoothly?

Sometimes we want to dream up things for ourselves, but our fears of things like…”how will I make the new thing work”, “how will my life become more complicated”, or “can I be that brave over and over again”…come to mind.

We want to be bolder, take new steps, accomplish a great many things. We stop our own selves because we don’t see the “how” of it. We just don’t know how the routine will be, wondering if we’ll have another disrespecting boss, wondering if we could make it on our own, figuring the routine you already know is easier, etc….fill in this spot with your own personal view.

I’ve said this before, the Universe will match you step for step. Whatever it is you want to accomplish or create, the Universe will work with you to make it happen…if it’s the right divine thing for you. Sometimes, the answer is “no”. Sometimes the answer is “not right now”. Sometimes the answer is “yes, about time”.

This is why it’s important to be open to the signs you get. I’ve tried to create many things over the years. I tried to be braver, to create something I thought could withstand the tests of time, and really didn’t get anywhere with them.

One thing I really want to do is create a program of sorts where I teach personal interaction skills to teenagers. I vividly remember having a conversation about 6 years ago with a woman at a Mardi Gras gathering. I told her how much I wanted to teach these people what they may not have been taught along the way.

We expect these young people to go through school, make the best grades they can make, and then say, “Get a job, a place, go out into the world on your own.” I think lots of people aren’t equipped with the interaction skills to navigate that. Maybe they are equipped with some of them, but could use other skills too.

Things like, “It’s okay to say no”, “What do you want, even if it’s something different than what was expected of you”, “Here are some pointers for better conversation so as not to feel defensive”, etc.

As I was having that conversation, I completely felt the Divine presence of that being a huge right thing to be doing. Since then, I’d tried several times and in several ways to make it happen. Maybe I wasn’t brave enough? Maybe I just haven’t met the right person and that’s in a divine time that hasn’t arrived yet? Maybe it isn’t meant to be?

What I do know is, if I really want it and it’s supposed to happen, it will happen. I simply must trust in that feeling I had many years ago, envision myself in that environment..making a difference in some lives…trusting it will happen if it’s meant to be so.

In the meantime, I play around with what I can do today. I create little things and big ideas and trust that my life is right where it’s supposed to be in this moment. If it isn’t right where it’s supposed to be, I trust I will find my way to there somehow.

Some people believe we are always guided to our truth…the core of what we’re to accomplish in this life…no matter how far we stray from that truth, we are internally being led back to it. If we’re on that path already, it’s like making a divine impact in every single day.

Your life was good before, there’s always something good happening because you’re here. The Divinely Led life though…wow…it flows almost as if by magic. Lots of ease happens when you’re right where you’re supposed to be in the bigger picture of things.

This post is a bit sporadic. I am not sure what you may or may not get out of it, but it is what it is. Maybe your own thoughts are random like this and you sort of filter them out to what see what stays in the clear and what washes away.

A Traveling Angel

Yesterday I was reminded of my little traveling angel. Many years ago I gave a woman I reading in exchange for a little bitty angel painting she’d created. It was the size of an ACEO card. It was beautiful.

I sent that angel to several friends in their time of need. Those friends, a few stays over or across a very big pond, sent that angel back to me. Each of them said they’d felt they’d been helped and wanted to send her back to me. It was amazing. I freely gave that angel many times and that angel made her way back to me in about the same number of times.

This last time I sent it was to a prisoner I’d corresponded with for a time. He said he’d take comfort from her and I hope he does. There is nothing in this world like being comforted with the presence of an angel.

I think angels are a sign of universal comfort. Most times, it doesn’t matter what your belief system is, angels are a welcome bit of care.

I got to thinking yesterday about that traveling angel. I remembered I’d become an ordained minister too. I have decided I’d create little angels of one sort or another and mail them as asked, when I can. The angels, along with a few comforting words, could help people in their time of need…especially those people that don’t tell how bad they’re hurting.

Yesterday I made a tiny angel. I am exploring these things, trying to see what I’d like to create of my own original design. I think I am onto something good.

Peace, and angel presence to you! Ps, here’s the picture of the little tiny angel. That’s my pinky finger there. 67112643_2597356306950233_2882510843365294080_o